Friday, November 12, 2010

The End!

Good morning, my Field Roasts of doom.

I briefly dreamed of writing a cookbook the way I speak. There would be instructions like "Add wet ingredients to dry and knead the shit out of it for 3-5 minutes" and descriptions like "Makes one metric assload." We should all be thankful Warren Ellis beat me to it. Sort of. Mr. Ellis doesn't write cook books. He writes comics. And novels. And essays. And a webcomic. And Tweets. And a blog. And all sorts of entertaining and educational (depending on your definition of education) things. However, a recent edition of his novel, Crooked Little Vein, contained recipes, a playlist and an interview with Warren Ellis. I decided to use that as the inspiration for today's post.

For the folks who aren't familiar with Mr. Ellis and his work, just know the introduction to the recipe section likened him to "Gordon Ramsay on a bad day with a dash of Sweeney Todd." Here's his tip for getting pomegranate seeds out: "Chop the pomegranate in half, like you were hacking the head off a fanboy...Repeatedly beat the top of the pomegranate with a wooden spoon, as if attempting to cudgel a small child to death." See why I love him?

The first entree included is Roasted Garlic and Lamb. As you can imagine, I tweaked that a bit:

I started out roasting the garlic as Mr. Ellis suggests: in some good, sparkling white wine (it was good until I screwed up getting the cork out of the bottle, anyway). I usually roast it drizzled with olive oil. This variation gave it a more mild flavor and less greasy feel, which was perfect, since I wasn't going to mash it up or mix it with anything (which I often do). I added that to the steamed red seitan from Vegan Latina and sprinkled it with pomegranate seeds, just like the man said. I was skeptical about the pomegranate seeds, but the tartness really brought the whole thing together. I ended up chucking some in my salad, too.

For a snack, Mr. Ellis suggests slicing a banana and sprinkling with crushed walnuts and more pomegranate seeds. I think it's safe to say I improved upon his idea (sorry, sir):

I chucked some frozen bananas in the food processor with some toasted walnuts until it got all goopy and ice creamy, then topped it with more toasted walnuts, pomegranate seeds and a quick squirt of chocolate syrup. Looks gross, but it's probably the only way you'll get me to eat a banana.

A quick look at Wikipedia tells us Mr. Ellis is rather prolific (which is great because I'm always looking to read something new from him).  I actually haven't read most of that because I'm not really into superheroes (I do read Batman, but he doesn't have super powers. The closest I get to that is Supergod,written by Guess Who), but if I had to pick one thing of his to talk about, it would have to be Transmetropolitan (but I'm only up to volume 8, so no spoilers, please).

Transmetropolitan shows us the future of The City through the eyes of gonzo reporter Spider Jerusalem. It's kind of a story about Jerusalem and The City, but, more importantly, it's a story about the truth. Especially when it's "inconvenient". Spider writes about the truth no one wants to know: poverty, child prostitution, corrupt politicians, assassinations, etc. Even having a hit put on him by the President doesn't stop him, it just encourages him to arm his filthy assistants.

When Spider was fired from the newspaper for being too controversial and had to publish via a "feed" instead, I was obviously reminded of the blogs that print similar stories today. They lay out truths most people don't want to know about where their food comes from, where their tax dollars go, how political criminals are dealt with, and how all that ties together. In a perfect world, I would now provide a comprehensive list of the blogs I think would do Mr. Jerusalem proud. But I have had a very long day and can only think of two, both with a significant environment/animal protection slant, so that's what you get:

If you're more coherent than I am, please leave relevant links in the comments. I'll gladly add them to the list.

Thus concludes Comic Book Week. I hope you all enjoyed it. Have a great weekend and I'll see you all back here on Monday!


Anonymous said...

"Repeatedly beat the top of the pomegranate with a wooden spoon, as if attempting to cudgel a small child to death."

Is the best recipe instruction I have ever read!

panda with cookie said...

I will take one metric assload, please. said...

I would also love to write the way I speak - I spend rather too much time editing the swearing outa my blog posts!

There's a restaurant in Brighton that makes a cold soba noodle & raw vegetable spaghetti dish with rocket & pomegranite seeds, it comes with a side of smoked tofu & it's really really good.